You Are Your Choices Part Two

I will be attending a Happiness Weekend retreat being presented by my friend, Alexandra Stoddard, next weekend. It is an opportunity to reconnect with acquaintances we’ve made through Alexandra and Peter. We will also get to share some quality time with dear friends such as Kenny and Shelly, along with their loved ones. Everyone will be convening to explore happiness as a principle. I anticipate a theme in our discussions will be the subject of Alexandra’s latest book, living the good life through our choices.

The remaining 25 chapters of the book were rich with insight and wisdom for me. The following includes excerpts that were most meaningful to me:

ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY “We should expect more from ourselves. Actively pursue what you desire.”

BE AWARE “A great many people think they are thinking when they are only rearranging their prejudices. We can create our own reality by having our thought patters correspond to our desires for the good life.”

YOUR CHOICES COUNT MOST IN A CRISIS “When faced with a crisis, focus… intelligently confront what’s going on.”

GIVE YOURSELF TIME “Choose not to get annoyed.”

MOVE ON “Things can always get worse or better. We are all moving on, letting go of what’s over.”

WALK AWAY “Surround yourself with superior people who set a great example for you to follow.”

SEE THE BIG IN THE LITTLE “The smallest shift in our minds can cause a momentous insight.”

INTUITION IS YOUR GUIDING LIGHT “We’re often able to intuit the truth long before we have any proof by way of reason.”

NEVER SAY NEVER “…accepting what comes, and letting go of what goes.”

UNDERSTAND THE LAW OF CAUSE AND EFFECT “Every choice we make has far-reaching consequences. Each choice we make will make a difference, for better or worse. We choose what we want to produce.”

DO MORE THINGS THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY “Get back in the habit of making choices that will provide opportunities for us to do more and more things that make us happy. Try to spend as much time as possible doing activities you find exhilarating.”

TRUST YOUR SUBJECTVIE WELL BEING “Know how to shape your environment to provide more positive stimulation.”

WHY NOT NOW “Living the good life is challenging. The commitment to live such a life will not make life easier.”

You Gotta Suffer If You Want To Sing The Blues!

After celebrating a friend's birthday at The Lodge Restaurant, Doug and I headed downtown to be entertained by Mr. BB King, now 81!

"I need you so."

"Ain't that just like a woman."

"I'm a blues man, a poor man but I'm a good man."

"I like to laugh."

"You are my sunshine. My only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are grey. You'll never know, dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away."

I love to watch BB strum the strings of his beloved Lucille. His fingers move with such fluidity and mastery. Men could learn a thing or two about how to caress a woman by watching this legend in action!

DC Diary

I boarded a plane bound for DC at 5:45 am this past Saturday. Jessica and I enjoyed a mini marathon of mother-daughter time. The details of our activities are below!

YOU ARE YOUR CHOICES
I finished my remaining chapters of this book enroute to DC. Do More Things That Make You Happy remains one of my favorite essays. Jessica shared that a quote of Eric Butterworth's in essay 9 had produced significant insight and healing for her;"Things may happen to you, but the only things that matter are the things that happen in you." Since my last blog was about inspiration, this quote resonated with me immediately; "If someone is stimulating and inspired, they have an infectious way of exciting and inspiring others." I will blog a follow up post on the book soon.

THE GOOD SHEPHERD
We were facinated by this intriguing fictional tale of the formation of the OSS and CIA. Matt Damion's portray of Wilson reminds me of his outstanding performance in The Talented Mr. Ripley, a top ten movie of all time for me.

CLARENDON
We spent Sunday in Claredon's Market Square shopping district having brunch with Jessica's college roomate, Kira Anderson, perusing Barnes and Noble and cruising through Crate and Barrel.

ANGEL photo
I took this photo Sunday afternoon as the snow had began to fall on the city. She sits directly behind the Dupont Circle Victorian Jessica resides in, overlooking a labyrinth path. The historical nave of an Episcopal church is visible just behind her, the only remaining portion of the church to survive arson. Her bowed posture reminds me of reverence, humility and awe in the divine.

THE SENSE OF PAPER
This is the book that I occupied myself with during the plane ride and weather delays back to San Antonio. The book's promise of obsession with and the eroticism of paper was marketing hype really. I am compiling notes about a future blog on sensuality and the concept of paper having aphrodisiac properties lit my interest. The redeeming feature was the recounting of the history of the finest handcrafted papers and their importance in the rise of popularity of English painters in the 18th century. There is a romance with a troubled artist and a journalist coming to terms with her demons after covering Europe's conflicts and wars of the 80's (the author was a correspondent for the London Daily Telegraph covering Europe's conflicts and wars of the 80's).

The Source Of Inspiration - Part One

To create or design anything fresh, to change or improve on that which already exists, we must think new thoughts and feel new feelings. This often requires viewing everything around us from a different vantage point. A great man taught me a long time ago about how to see what I was looking at from a whole new perspective. That man was Albie Mulcahy.

I met Albie in the late 80's some time after he was personally selected by Paul Mitchell to be a Master level Educator and Stage Artist for the most successful salon product line of all time. Eventually, I found myself as backstage support for a regional hairdressing event he was headlining. Most of us spent our time during the preparations avoiding his wrath (he had a stereotypical artistic temperament). Everything changed when he bounded on stage and began to dress the models' hair. We were in awe as he worked the hair, the stage and the audience. I looked over to my friend and said, "That man is a god!".

I found myself sitting at Albie's feet after that show . We started a discussion that did not end for several years. He spoke then about how his trip to Japan, and the music he was exposed to there, had him going in a different direction on stage. He would later speak of how the architecture he found in Europe was influencing the shape and design of his hairdressing and costuming. He never made excuses and neither will I but I began to see that Albie's volatility was part of an uncomfortable process in between the visualized ideal of everday genius and its end product. Albie's outbursts dissipated as we all developed the ability to translate his directions into more artful hair. Albie exhibited generosity, love and leadership to his apprentices. Ultimately and importantly, he shifted my thinking profoundly by teaching me how to absorb all that was around me and reinterpret what I found into what I was creating.

Albie is an assault on the senses. When he performs his artistry, Albie literally vibrates with life force. He is physically turned on and the other dimensions of his being are affected as well. Albie has discovered how to channel his artistic and sexual tensions into all his endeavors. Everyone in his presence feels it (maybe girls more than boys) and can walk away transformed. Albie demonstrates to us that there will be palpable feelings associated with being truly inspired. We, too, will have such charisma and magnetism, drawing good people and good will toward us if we can work, play and create with such aliveness.

Another aspect of how Albie informs his art is through a keen awareness of what gives him pleasure. Pleasure used to be, and may still be, a strong motivator for him. There was a time when I wished I could be more swept away by my hedonist desires in the manner I observed or fantasized that Albie was. The women Albie entertains are not of marital relation, at least not his. The drugs Albie has taken have not always been those prescribed. It is likely he had as many of his resources invested in leather pants as his portfolio. These propensities worked for Albie. I simply could not pull so far away from my upbringing that I could embrace all that his world represented. Yet it is has been a gift to be exposed to his lifestyle. I have matured enough to finally accept the role sensuality plays in my work and self expression. I admire his talent for tapping into his sense of pleasure as he goes about designing. There are personal truths being revealed to us when we are gratifying our senses, the only way we have to absorb our natural and physical world. We have to seek out our truths, as Albie does, as all artists do.

Although Albie has played the part of the bad boy hairdresser and stage artist well, he can surprise me. Recently, I asked him what was inspiring him now. He immediately answered, "Spirituality." Albie told me it was spirituality that kept him going, looking in more places. After a bit, he further revealed that God was what was inspiring and uplifting him. We agreed that most people who know of Albie would think the last place he was finding stimulation today was in the spiritual domain. As I reflect on it this, I realize my teacher had rightly named the source of all of our inspiration. The word, inspiration, itself literally means to be infused with spirit or with the breath of the divine. Albie directs us to look to the fundamental basis where everything that was, is and will be emanates from.

Albie gives us several clues about finding our own inspiration in how he lives his life and through his acts of creation. Albie has developed his awareness for the world around him. He listens to his inner voice. He chooses a vocation that serves as a conduit for his experiences. He has figured out a way to turn his intense desires into something that serves others as he serves himself.

It seemed as if my inspirational friend sustained his imaginative view with excitement and thrills. Now, Albie speaks of being uplifted. Perhaps there comes a time for all of us when we begin to sense the vibration of the Supreme Artist and Creator in us. A time when we are not limited in seeing simply what is fed back to us in our vision. A time when we imbue what we create with our very essence.

To be continued

You Are Your Choices - Part One

This Sunday finds Doug and I at home sheltered from the cold and rainy night with a pot of chili simmering. Alexandra Stoddard's latest publication, "You Are Your Choices", has been my compainion this week in quiet moments during lunch, coffees at Starbucks and while waiting for appointments. I am just over half way through. I am unabashedly a Stoddard fan and find this new book fresh with kick-in-the-pants insight and wisdom.

I highly recommend it and I am not the only one doing so. At Barnes and Noble online, the book has been selected for the 2007 New Year, New You collection and is maintaining its place in the top 100 books sold hourly. If you haven't gotten your own copy, I encourage you to do so. Until then, here are some of the most meaningful thoughts for me so far...

"This is an invitation to you to live the good life."

"Life is to be savored."

"You are choosing your ideal way of life, breath by breath, choice by choice."

"What you don't do is as important as what you do."

"Being inspired is far more enlightening than being informed."

"Every day we have fresh opportunity to make good choices that will reward us."

"Everything matters."

"Wherever you are, whatever you are experiencing, concentrate completely."

"Don't be proud that you are consistent. Life is too precious to be redundant."

"If you ever feel confused or stuck, or you don't know what choices to make, go outside in search of something beautiful."

"Seek to make fresh discoveries."

"There is no time in our life when we are faced with a choice-less moment."

"We change the way we feel by what we think."

"Stop complaining."

-Alexandra Stoddard

Accept Your Call to Adventure

Now playing in theaters is a simply presented tale about a hero and his adventures on the journey to save his known world. Classic archetypes play out predictably against the pleasing backdrop of the modern day alchemy of special effects and the natural lands of Canada and Hungary.

The scholar, Joseph Campbell, taught that first fundamental step in a developing Hero archetypal mythology is the call to adventure. The hero has the free will to choose whether or not to accept the adventure or quest (although there is usually some suffering that comes as a consequence for denying destiny).Obviously, our hero in eragon accepts his challenge or the story would have been a dull one about a farm boy rather than a fantasy with a ferocious dragon.

Our hero accepts his call upon the death of his uncle. His new protective caretaker sets fire to the only home the boy has ever known to hasten Eragon’s departure from the dangers now present to the hero. The archetypical scene plays out beautifully, sticking in my mind and prompting this post. Eragon turns and looks back to see the homestead engulfed in flames. It is here that the hero makes his choice to accept and the burning farm signals there will be no turning back, no refuge to found in the past.

Campbell further instructed that after the call to adventure comes a road of trials, whereupon if he is successful, there is an achievement of some goal (boon) that is beneficial when he returns to his world and applies the boon so that world is improved.

This story seems poignant at this time in my life because of my family’s acceptance of our call to San Antonio. The mythology of the Hero plays out before us unendingly because it is a story of humanity. We will all face calls to adventure and we are likely to encounter suffering if we choose not to accept or face things that scare us if we choose to accept. But take heart that the hero is never on his journey alone. There are caretakers, guardians, special tools, supernatural helpers, and a god or goddess to help along the way so that the hero may reach a higher consciousness and bring about the good that improves lives for his entire community.

Make preparations to be ready for the adventure that lies ahead. Develop your courage, discipline and skills. Fulfill your destiny so that you and all those around may enjoy a world transformed.

Hero With A Thousand Faces Joseph Campbell

Awakening The Heroes Within Carol S Pearson

Healthy Turning Point

Did you resolve to lose a few pounds or get in a bit more exercise in the new year? Judging by what I have seen on tv, displayed on the newstand and stacked at the bookstore, the answer is yes. The Food Network shows geared towards a bountiful holiday and party table have been replaced with leaner menus. Two full tables at the front door of my local Barnes and Noble were laden with diet and fitness books. Sculpted bellies on magazine covers shout it is time to get our waists back in line.

My work keeps me active and by some miracle the holidays did not gift me anything to reduce. But I do have a habit of considering what progress I need to make to be more healthy this time of year.

Some strategies that I put into practice this time last year have paid off. I incorporated SuperFoods into our diet. Most evening meals consist of 4 oz protein grilled or broiled with a salad (greens, nuts, dried fruit, vegetables, 1 oz cheese with 1 tablespoon Newman's dressing) and green vegetable. Breads, pasta, rice and potatoes are eaten sparingly. A can of nuts in the car staves off hunger. Carrying a piece of fruit or yogurt manages snacking.

Sugar continues to be problematic for many of us. I recently discovered how to determine how much sugar I was really eating in the foods I buy. 1 teaspoon of sugar = 4 grams. My favorite brand of yogurt has only 160 calories but 7 teaspoons of sugar. That was for a 6 0z cup. Astounding. With this new tool of understanding, I am empowered to make better food choices.

If we hope to make any progress towards a more fit, healthy body, ultimately we must decrease our calorie intake and increase our physical activity. Those magazines and books that are beckoning us are great for ideas and motivation but less food and more exercise has to be the plan. (My ex father in law's quote is crude but true.)

I resolve to investigate getting in more cardio. The elliptical machine during PT was effective but boring. I am checking out a Nia class tomorrow. Learning salsa, tango or flamenco would be fun. And maybe it's time I got back to the stripper pole dancing!

IF YOU HAVE ANY SUCCESS STRATEGIES TO SHARE, PLEASE LEAVE THEM IN THE COMMENTS AND I WILL ADD THEM TO THE POST.

Here are a few of my favorite thoughts on the subject:

"He who would keep in good health [should remember to ] avoid grevious moods and keep your mind cheerful." - Leonardo da Vinci

"When you look and feel your best, it is easier to do whatever you have to do." -Ivana Trump

"Physically, we seek health, affection and the ecstacy of sexual union." - Michael Gelb

"If your life stays the way it is now, your weight will get back to where it is now...changing on the inside is the key to making outer changes last." - Victoria Moran

"Healthy people are happier than unhealthy people. The reverse is also true, happy people are healthier than unhappy people." -Deepak Chopra

"If you want to lose weight, back up from the table." -Sidney Morgan

Celebration Of Abundance

As Doug and I look to the new year pondering what it will bring, we also reflect on all that we have with gratitude. The traditional Christian observance for this is known as the Epiphany.

Epiphany means to manifest. "Epiphany is about the unveiling of God's purpose in our lives", Karen Tudor told me in 2001. She also said if we are to receive ideas from God, then we are open to the gifts those ideas bring. I find this New Thougth perspective compelling since Covey, Chopra, The Secret, et al teach us that everything in our physical dimension is brought about by the power of our mind.

We will observe the day by steaming a dungeness crab (honoring baptismal waters) and opening a nice wine (honoring the water to wine miracle).

There is a custom of blessing the house, which is especially appropriate for us in our new home in San Antonio.

Along with this prayer:

Bless us, O Lord, and bless the time and seasons
yet to come.
Teach us to number our day aright,
that we may gain wisdom of heart.
And fill this new year with your kindness,
taht we may be glad and rejoice
all the days of our life.
Amen

And God bless you all, Carolyn

Crossing The Threshold Of The Opening Door

Ancient Romans celebrated the beginning of a new year with an offering of a jar of honey to the deity Janus. The hope was to get the new year off to a good start and to “ensure that the year would be sweet” with good fortune. Janus was known as the “God of Beginnings and Thresholds”. Doors, entrance ways and gates were held as sacred places in the daily life of the Roman.

Throughout history, among many cultures, continuing into western psychology, the door has been a symbol of opportunity, a metaphor for transition.

The door to our home provides us protection and privacy from the outside world. We feel secure, electing when we will come and go, who gets to be invited in, what our personal spaces will reflect about us. The door to our future is often the one we feel most fearful about. Anyone who’s been victimized in their own home knows that our security can be an illusion. Behind the door we face are certain to be circumstances we would prefer to avoid. We deny ourselves new possibilities, chances and the growth that lies beyond if we don’t step through.

Deepak Chopra, Stephen Covey and others have taught us that everything that exists in our physical world first existed in our thoughts and minds. Like the Romans, we may wish to be considerate and thoughtful about the real doorways and passages we travel through as we prepare ourselves for the emotional doors we are about to encounter.

WHICH DOOR IS YOUR HOME ENTRYWAY?
In Creating A Beautiful Home, Alexandra Stoddard noticed that the customary door for coming home was the garage or back door. Not exactly the most “gracious.” Is this a pattern that could be improved upon? I confess that I use the garage door. To make the space more welcoming, I hung a Paul Simon print of an European path to the harbor to greet me. Doug and I also assist each other in keeping the space clean and free of clutter. Maybe sometimes we all need to be a guest at our own residence and walk through the doors reserved for company!

WHAT ARE YOUR DEPARTURE AND ARRIVAL RITUALS?
Are the transitions from your home life to your professional or community life serving your goals to live peacefully or happily? Have an evening routine that supports you getting out the door in the morning more effortlessly. Always placing your keys in the same place eliminates frantic hunting as it is time to leave, for example. Doug has taken to accompanying me as I pack the car with my daily necessities and giving me a kiss. This brief, romantic gesture helps us keep the important important and sets a pleasant tone for the rest of the day. At night, I like to take a break with a cup of coffee or a glass of wine and converse about our day. What could be done to make your transitions to and from home more pleasurable or meaningful?

WOULD YOUR DOORWAYS BENEFIT FROM SOME REDECORATING?
The Chinese have specified laws pertaining to doors. Practitioners of Feng Shui aim to facilitate a home’s good “Chi” or energy by having doors that are of solid wood and open into cozy spaces. The French adopted the practice of a cozy, welcoming space, calling it a foyer. Interior designers like to create a sense of “beyondness”, seeking to extend enclosed spaces behind doors out into the expansiveness of the natural world. Front entrances into the home welcome our family and friends, giving them hints about our tastes, preferences and interests. A flowering plant to the side of a doorway announces something is growing and thriving just on the other side. Apply a fresh coat of paint or stain, install new hardware or repair worn weather striping. These can be areas we neglect because we do not live in them. I suggest we adopt an enthusiastic attitude about the comings and goings in our home so that the virtual doors we come upon are likely to hide things that are positive and desirable behind them.

HOLD THE DOOR FOR SOMEONE ELSE!
It used to be when a woman approached a door, a man would usually hold it open for her. I know some feminists balk at this practice but I am sure the doors of previous generations were heavier than the ones we contend with today. Regardless of who is arriving after us, it is good manners to hold the door open for others. Be mindful of those around you that need a helping hand and open a “door” literally and figuratively for them whenever you can.

Alexandra Graham Bell noticed that “when one door closes, another door opens”. Helen Keller observed that “often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us”. Their insight encourages us to turn towards the way that we are presented. Inherent in their wisdom is the expectation that we find the courage to cross the threshold into the unknown.

(A drizzle of honey at mealtimes in honor of this month's namesake might not do any harm.)