The Help

Before we married, Doug and I flew to California so I could meet his family. And Sybil, the black Louisianan who helped raise him. She sat between us, took our hands and said, "Now what ya'll did to get each other ya'll keep doing to keep each other." Sybil loved Doug and Doug loved
Sybil.


Some months back, Jessica called to tell me about a book she was reading. It was about black women raising white children in the South and the complexities of these relationships. Jessica was thinking of Doug's and Sybil's bond, as well as his other nanny, Rose, as she read the story and wanted me to experience it.


I guess Sybil was more like Aibileen and I have met a few Minnys in my day. Rose was no certainly no stranger to the treatment that the "domestics" in the book endured by families before the Bells. Sybil was one of the family at the Bell household, at least that is how they saw it. She has passed so I can't ask her about how she saw it.

The book weaves the cruelties blacks lived with in a white ruled Southern world in the story beautifully. The book seems timely and strong feelings about my experiences about race come to the surface.


"You ain't nothing but a n___a lover." In 3rd grade, Ike Smith was my best friend. He was by far the most amusing...and the most motivated. After hearing about Ike for weeks, I got to introduce him to Daddy at school during Halloween. Later Dad asked me why I never mentioned Ike was black.

3 years later, my education about whites and blacks relations would begin. That's when the Duval County School Board and NAACP decided to integrate schools with bussing. Our school was locked up and barbed wired like a prison and my ignorance about racial tension was removed. A couple of years later my parents would buy a house in a more racially even school zone. There I learned blacks could hate just as cruelly as whites - with every pound of their fists onto my head because a white girl needed to be made an example. Later, the middle school would be closed due to threat of racial rioting by 8th graders and I refused to attend school there. We moved.

By high school, Frieda and Eva were among my best friends and my black teachers had great influence on me. We would deal with passive racism (Eva's dad wouldn't be home when a white child was in his house, My parents having to grow to accepting then loving Eva as any other) and the aggressive racism of neighbors, school mates and extended family. Poor Eva was even my bridesmaid when I married into a family with no love for black people!

Ramona once said I "collect black people". Karen has lamented about my being "color blind" because it blinds me to more of the racism that goes on. Kim and I didn't have to pretend about what's what while dealing with the white do-gooders at the preschool. As Aibileen hoped in the civil rights charged era novel, at least in my life, friendships with women of color have more to with what is inside rather than what is outside.

Minny had a word for the white upper class without a clue; fool. I hope to not be one. For as many blacks that have loved me, many never will. Because of history, their history, much like that told of those in "The Help." I am not black and will not know what it is like to be black any more than I can know what it is like to be a man. A story like this does deepen my understanding.

I have heard the statement above more than once. And not one time did it hurt.

"Why don't you just go ahead and call him n__ger." Incredulously, a white liberal acquaintance forwarded this rant to those she knew who were critical of President Obama. What a friggin fool.

I have lived almost 5 decades. I didn't know you were supposed to catagorize people by color as a child. I did not cave to pressures from either race as a teen. I have befriended, work with and for, raised money for, sponsored and educated people my whole life...some of them white and some of them black. I have advocated for blacks in my community. I have helped reverse racial prejudice in my family and am proud that my daughter sees people like I do.

And I have about as much patience for fools as Minny does. That friggin fool Kristen cries over the plight of the children of Haiti (while denouncing my politics as racist), yet she hasn't once got her Chomsky loving, liberal white ass in the car, drove over to local black church and donated her farm fresh goods or helped a black child with literacy or a job. That fool that married into the family that equates being a Southerner with bigotry must think Rodney King took his beating in Los Angeles located in Georgia and credits a cracker with nicknaming Latinos "beaners", his California being so pristine and all. That fool brother-in-law of mine didn't pass on his idiot hateful ways to his kids after all, thank God. Those white fools pulling the D lever in the voting booth can keep believing they are better to blacks than those racist-R pulling-Tea Partiers, all while never having attended the birth, wedding or funeral of a black they call friend (and the help will tell you, if you pay 'em, they ain't your friend).

Hearing the statement above makes my blood boil. Really, we are now using racial slurs to attack political opponents? I have a pretty good idea what racism is because I have lived with it all my life. I know blacks know what racism is. It's thinking black people have different diseases than you. It's beating a boy blind because he is black...and it is beating a girl senseless because she is white. It is arresting "integrationists" because they work for racial equality. It is hanging a man because he wants the same education, employment and life opportunities as others. If you've been letting the politicians, academics and journalists tell you what racism is and who the racists are, the "domestics" in The Help can clue you in.

Law, what I wouldn't give for Ms. Rose, Ms. Sybil, Ms. Aibileen and Ms. Minny to see a man of mixed race elected President...despite his sorry ass.

6 Things That Make Dunedin Delightful

Our downtown merchants, chamber and city government advertise our small town as "Delightful Dunedin". We may have been unburying ourselves from all our boxes for the last 9 days but we agree. A few charms we're enjoying right away include:

Church bells ringing at 9 am on Sundays. We may not be joining the Presbyterians for service on Sunday (the Unity in Palm Harbor is likely going to be our church home) but their carillon reminds us of God's grace and our gratitude.


Sunsets over Caladesi Island viewed from Dunedin harbor. The harbor is an easy walk from our bungalow. We got to take in our first evening walk and sunset with our friend, Daniella, who was visiting from San Antonio.
The Serendipity Cafe. Located on Main Street just as you enter the historic district. Here we found Kim Mohr manning Dunedin's gluten-free, whole food cafe. We visited so many times in a week we were afraid she would think we were stalkers.


Dunedin Harvest and Co-0p. In Dunedin, buying local is possible. Farm fresh eggs, raw local honey and live plants will make up our order this Wed.


Dunedin Community Center. I received a resident's pass and am now able to enjoy fitness classes for $5 ea or unlimited for $30 a month. As one would expect, the center offers a host of activities for children and services for low income families.


Walking to downtown for ice cream. The kind of ice cream you ate before Ben met Jerry and HFCS was manufactured. We figure the walk to the shoppe, then eating the cone as we make our way up to the harbor, down Edgewater Dr and back home burns exactly the same amount of calories contained in a one scoop cone.

The 9 Steps to Keep The Doctor Away

On the recommendation of our wellness trainer, Dr. Michael Norwood, we got a hot-off-the-press copy of The 9 Steps To Keep The Doctor Away. Dr Michael knows of our commitment to fitness, nutrition, preventive and longevity medicine and alternative therapies. He thought we would benefit from Dr. Buttar's perspective, especially regarding toxicity and hormone replacement.

Introduction

"Anyone and any condition can be healed."

"...sit idle, blindly hoping that nothing bad happens, and then potentialy succumbing to the pressures of drugs, surgery and other standard medical treatments."

"Your health is in your own hands (not their hands) and realize the power of being in control of your own body, no person, institution or force on Earth can take that realization away from you."

"The current medical model is simply not working."

"Authority is threatened by evolution of new ideas."

"The old way of practicing medicine is dying. Most of the misinformation that continues to be propagated in the name of medicine and science is actually harmful to your health over the long term."

"These essential principles won't be easy for you to incorporate into your daily life because they're most certainly not based on what you want to hear."

"Doctors are just human beings with a license to make life and death mistakes as long as they are using an approved method with the standard of care."

"You can achieve a level of health beyond anything you've imagined, but you have to first believe that it is possible."

Another Self Help Book?

"One of the most prevalent and dangerous perspectives in modern medicine has been to simply attribute diseases like cancer, heart disease, stroke, diabetes and arthritis, plus a host of other medical problems, to the aging process."

"It's not because you're getting older. It's because your doctor doesn't have a drug to cover up the symptoms of increasing oxidative stress."

Inflammation - The good and the bad

"The ultimate cause of all chronic diseases is the oxidative damage due to free radicals...toxicity-induced oxidative injury that causes the disease process to start in the first place."

"We may not be able to stop oxidative damage completely, but we can significantly reduce the extent of oxidative damage by removing any source of oxidation and thereby reduce inflammation."

"We can also reduce this inflammatory cascade by changing our habits and making specific lifestyle choices."

"The four most important organ systems in the body related to detoxification are among the four primary organs of elimination...the hepatic system (liver); gastrointestinal system (stomach and intestines); integumentary system (skin), which is the largest organ of elimination."

"The liver and GI system are arguably the most important for detoxification and nourishment - the tow major components of healing and rebuilding."

"If the liver or the GI system is not functioning properly, your body is highly vulnerable."

"Cleaning up a toxic world is a monumental task. Cleaning up our individual lives is equally monumental, but it is simpler in the sense that we have greater direct control."

"Every choice you have made in your life up to this point has led to your current state of health."

"You've chosen what to do with your body. You've chosen what to put inside your body. You've chosen what to put inside your mind."

Three Foundations

"It doesn't matter if the toxin is a heavy metal, a pesticide or a food additive. Every toxin uses the same method of creating physiological damage - oxidative stress."

"All chronic disease stems from some type of toxicity."

"Systemic detoxification must be undertaken...the first foundation."

"A significant portion of your immune system (second foundation) exists in your gastrointestinal tract."

"Digestive problems are the first chink in the armor of your immune system and your body is sounding the alarm."

"Imagine how compromised most people's immune systems have become after decades using various drugs (OTC, prescription, illegal), lack of exercise, drinking toxic tap water, or worse, drinking sodas and eating nutrient deficient synthetic filled imitation food."

Third foundation is hormone optimization.

"Imbalanced or low hormone levels can create many problems in the body."

Sugar May Be Bad But This Sweetener Is Far More Deadly

By Dr. Joseph Mercola

"...a growing lineup of scientific research demonstrating that consuming high-fructose corn syrup is the fastest way to trash your health. Glucose is the form of energy you were designed to run on. Every cell in your body, every bacterium -- and in fact, every living thing on the Earth--uses glucose for energy.

It isn't that fructose itself is bad -- it is the MASSIVE DOSES you're exposed to that make it dangerous.

There are two reasons fructose is so damaging:

1. Your body metabolizes fructose in a much different way than glucose. The entire burden of metabolizing fructose falls on your liver.

2. People are consuming fructose in enormous quantities, which has made the negative effects much more profound.

By USDA estimates, about one-quarter of the calories consumed by the average American is in the form of added sugars, and most of that is HFCS.

After eating fructose, 100 percent of the metabolic burden rests on your liver. But with glucose, your liver has to break down only 20 percent.

Every cell in your body, including your brain, utilizes glucose. Therefore, much of it is "burned up" immediately after you consume it. By contrast, fructose is turned into free fatty acids (FFAs), VLDL (the damaging form of cholesterol), and triglycerides, which get stored as fat.

The fatty acids created during fructose metabolism accumulate as fat droplets in your liver and skeletal muscle tissues, causing insulin resistance.

When you eat 120 calories of glucose, less than one calorie is stored as fat. 120 calories of fructose results in 40 calories being stored as fat.

I recommend that you avoid as much sugar as possible.

If you want to use a sweetener occasionally, this is what I recommend:

1. Use the herb stevia.

2. Use organic cane sugar in moderation.

3. Use organic raw honey in moderation.

4. Avoid ALL artificial sweeteners, which can damage your health even more quickly than fructose.

5. Avoid agave syrup since it is a highly processed sap that is almost all fructose."



To read the full article, go to The Huffington Post.

Next stop - Dunedin FL

It is settled - we are relocating to Dunedin FL in August.

Dunedin is a small coastal town with a celebrated Scottish heritage, which is on display at annual Highland Games festivals.

Our new home is located, aptly enough, on Scotland St, a few blocks from the historic downtown.

Just a couple miles away is Honeymoon Island and Caladesi Beach, which was voted at the #1 beach in America in 2008.

We fell in love with Dunedin when we lived in neighboring Palm Harbor. Our favorite restaurant on Main St is Kelly's. Since we were here, they have expanded the back patio, where they have night entertainment. They also operate the adjoining Chic A Boom Room and Blur. This trip, we met our friend, Frankie, who relocated from Austin about the same time as we did for Vegas, for dinner at Kelly's. How cool is that?

One of the features of living in downtown Dunedin is proximity to the Pinellas Trail. It was a rail to trail conversion project and it is a linear park that runs from Tarpon Springs to St Petersburg. Every day you will find all ages walking, jogging, biking and skating on the trail.

We decided on a Friday to hop on a plane on Saturday and tour the area for rentals. I wasn't having much luck at a distance and via the internet. After dinner at Casa Tina's, we walked a bit up the trail and discovered a live band at Jolli Mon's Grill. Great guitarist, awful singer but everyone was having a great time, including us. A great way to begin our Dunedin adventure.

Contemplating a move is stressful so we treated ourselves to a room at the Best Western Yacht Marina. We sat and watched an afternoon thunderstorm from the 2nd floor balcony and a perfect sunset from the waterfront restaurant.

While we wait for the movers, we are holing up at the Seaside Artisan Motel. The rooms are under $80, within walking distance to downtown and have kitchens.

As soon as I unpack and apply for my business license, I am taking my first stand up paddling lesson at Kahuna Kai Adventure Center. I am hoping Santa brings me a board for Christmas. Paddleboard Pilates anyone?

Speaking of Pilates, this will be the new home of Carolyn Bell Pilates, Inc. I am working on new Pilates interval sessions, PILATES 30 for $30, which I will begin offering in Dunedin. I have learned a great deal from Dr. Michael Norwood and, after many months, feel ready to incorporate what I have learned with my clients.

Dunedin even has its own minor league team, the Dunedin Jays. The stadium is also home to the Toronto Blue Jays for spring training.

All this and more lead us to make Dunedin our home. But the real reason we are moving to Dunedin is Doug can walk to Strachen's Homemade Ice Cream whenever he wants.

NYC

I recently went to NYC for the FAMI workshop with Dana and Jean. We spent four days interacting with cadaver prosections! Our clients ought to love that.


We were hosted by Jean's brother, Marc, his partner, Myles and their daughter, Ashley. Iggy, their dog, tolerated us. We couldn't have been more comfortable at the Amend-Thomas household up in Washington Heights, an area I had not traveled to before.

Unbelievably, our San Antonio friends, the Aguirres were being visited by our former San Antonio friends, the Newkirks. We all convened Friday night (sans Doug) at the Flay flagship, Mesa Grill. My favorites were the Mesa Fresca and chorizo quesadilla. So good to be with good friends.


I had the pleasure of taking our hosts out to the Indian Road Market and Cafe. Ashley had voted loudly this was the place to go. Dana and I ordered this S. Blanc and couldn't believe it had a picture of a brain on it. The brain we saw at FAMI looked nothing like the bottle's label. Unfortunately.

We made it back to this Columbia U haunt again on Tuesday for a long lunch before we caught our flight. They served one of the best lattes ever.


On Monday, we joined Marc and Ashley for a play date in Central Park. Dana and I took a walk to try and find a particular fountain while the rest of the gang headed to the zoo. Later, I was swarmed by news crews filming follow up broadcasts of the baby-killed-by-falling-tree limb "tragedy". Dana and I took one of the pedicabs through Central Park...nice views.


We got to babysit Ashley afterward.


I finally made it to Chelsea Market. We had lunch at the Lobster Place and shopped the Italian grocery for goodies to bring home. I would love to be able to shop here on a regular basis.



Broad-Dyckman Car Service drove us all over Manhattan. Phone: 212-304-8080, ask for Michelle. Otherwise, you might get an older Dominican using his native Bachata to seduce you.

It's good to be home. The cookie plate I brought home from Indian Road Cafe has been finished off. Wine is back off the menu and meals are filled with vegetables. And I am no longer seeing dead people.

Tarts....Of The Tomato Kind

My tart pans that were given to me as a wedding gift have never before been used. It took seeing David Lebovitz's blog on a tomato tart to finally get me over my fear of tarts. . Along with having a proper pan, I had a bowl full of ripening tomatoes on the counter.

This wasn't one of those fancy, shiny tarts of perfection you peer at in European bakery windows. This was rustic vegetable and cheese fare for every day. I am happy to report that my first tart turned out perfectly, enhanced by garden fresh basil, pine nuts and an almond parmesan crust. It was a hit with an arugula salad for dinner and a egg for lunch the next day.

Best of all, when I posted a photo of my creation on David's FB page, he complimented me on adding cheese to the crust!


David Lebovitz - my French Tomato Tart inspiration.









Comfy Belly's Caramelized Onion, Tomato, Goat Cheese Tart recipe had the best gluten free savory crust I could find. Don't be put off by the flourless crust...it was delicious.










Almond flour, grated parmesan and a little salt and water. A crust with a low glycemic rating and protein is a better option for my nutritional needs. It was fantastic.

Ina Garten's Tomato Goat Cheese Tarts










Ina's builds her tarts on puff pastry, store bought and convenient.

Simply Recipes' Tomato Pie utilizes a pie shell for added convenience and a mouth watering cheese topping.










Ellie Kreiger's Cornmeal Crust










For those looking for a cornmeal crust...and more roasted vegetables.

Chez US has a Savory Tomato Tart that is a bit more elegant.










For special occasions or entertaining, the goat cheese custard of this tomato tart elevates it to celebration status.

I can immediately imagine a version with zucchini, feta and mint.