In The Kitchen With Zane

Saturday afternoon found me in Central Market deciding what to prepare for our overnight guests, Zephra, Karen and 8 yr old Zane. Since San Antonio has been experiencing blue skies, bright sunshine and nippy air, grilling chicken seemed a good choice. The yellow squash was bountiful so I bagged a few of those. Then it struck me to make kabobs. This would give me an opportunity to spend some time one on one with Zane. I would get to share an interest of mine and find out what was interesting to him right now.

Zane was immediately agreeable to my request for his help. When I dressed him in a Mickey Mouse apron, he was really in the cooking spirit! Our first task was to assemble the kabobs:

Chicken and Vegetable Kabobs

3 split boneless and skinless chicken breast, cut into bite size pieces
3 yellow squash, sliced into half moons
3 zucchini, sliced into half moons
1/2 red onion, quartered
1 red bell pepper, cubed
1 thick slice white onion, quartered
2 cloves garlic, minced
5 tbs canola oil
1 lemon juiced
salt and pepper



Place chicken, garlic and white onion in resealable plastic bag. Add 3 tbsp oil, lemon juice, garlic and seasoning. Marinate in fridge for several hours. toss vegetables in remaining oil and salt and pepper to taste. Thread marinated meat and vegetables on skewers (if using wood skewers, soak for 30 min). Grill for approximately 20 min at 325 degrees or until chicken is done.

Zane used his creativity to set the table and proudly announced dinner for the adults.

Our meal also included a caesar salad, blueberry crisp and homemade lemonade. Zane reluctantly gave up his apron shortly before bedtime. However, he didn't know about tomorrow's brunch!


Zane was definitely up hours before the rest of us. For brunch, we donned our aprons and got down to the business of making baking eggs in ham cups. The first few cracking of eggs were touch and go, but by the last one, Zane was a skilled sous chef cracking eggs.

For our egg dish, we sauteed red bell pepper, onion and garlic in olive oil. In a muffin pan, we lined the cup with a slice of deli ham (canadian bacon or proscuitto would also work). A spoon of the aromatics was added along with feta or parmasean cheese and one egg. We sprinkled thyme, salt and pepper on the top. These were baked in a 400 degree over for 15-20 min.

The baked egg cups were served with a bowl of cantaloupe and
strawberries, an oven baked pancake and real maple syrup.

When you don't have children at home, a visiting family's child or children can feel left out. Inviting Zane into the kitchen was my way of ensuring he had fun too. The meals were made memorable by the spontaneous antics of Zane as he worked on his tasks in the kitchen. Follow the Food Network's advice and "cook with your kids." If you don't have any of your own, do as I did - make use of the ones that belong to your friends!

For recipe inspiration, I used these as a guideline:

Peach and Raspberry Crisp - Ina Garten
Baked Eggs In Canadian Bacon Cups - South Beach Diet Online

Maintaining Your Motivation

A new Pilates client reminded me yesterday of a valuable tool I utlize to keep myself moving in the directions of my goals. The client began her Pilates program with the intention of changing her body, in search of the holy grail of all fitness quests - weight loss. With a few sessions behind her, she has begun to make statements such as "This is really hard" and "There are so many rules." I recognized she was at a pivotal point in her Pilates practice when she shared that she had almost given up. I introduced her to the stages all new learners must pass through. This process is known as the Consious Competence Learning Matrix.

When we apply ourselves to a new pursuit, we will encounter the need to develop new skills. We don't become fit, we are attaining new knowledge and abilities where the outcome is our being more fit. The same is true for any area in which you wish to make improvements. To progress in your job or career, you must seek more education and training. To experience more financial security, you must adopt attitudes and behaviors that financially secure people exhibit. To achieve spiritual awareness, there will be prayer or meditation methods you have to practice. The difference between those who reach their goals and those who don't is predicated on this: the competence they develop and the commitment they maintain.

By identifying a goal, we are acknowledging that we have an unmet need we want fulfilled or a weakness we want to strengthen. This acknowledgement is what motivates us to make a change and prompt us to take action. This is when we are confronted with the 4 stages within the Learning Matrix. We can easily determine at what stage of learning we are in. We simply need to measure our level of commitment and competence.

Unconscious Incompetence - High Commitment, Low Competence
When my client made her Pilates appointments, she was very enthusiastic. She was dedicating precious time and resources towards her goal and was making a tangible, positive step in the right direction. She really wasn't able to distinguish the difference in quality of her work as a beginner to that of an experienced practicioner. At this stage, we really don't have full grasp on what we've signed up for. We are basking in the enjoyment of our new adventure.

Conscious Incompetence - Low Commitment, Low Competence
If stage one represents an ingnorant bliss, stage two represents our moment of truth, our turning point. My client is now realizing that the work she has signed up for requires specific skills and she doesn't have them. This is the stage where we may be unwilling to proceed. This is when we quit. If we fool ourselves, we reason that we are time-deprived, have too many responsibilities, we're aadd or we fill in the blank with anything that will let us back out and save face. On the other hand, we may be in awe of those who practice the skill with such mastery as to make it look effortless. If something like this happens, we will experience a shift in our thoughts and feelings and find the enegry to continue towards what we hope to accomplish.

Conscious Competence - Variable Commitment, Higher Competence
Stage three is the stage of the realistic. We can make self evaluations with regards to performance. We know what we do well, what we don't and are continuing to takes steps towards improvement. We are more self reliant, not so dependent on role models and teachers. We can still have moments of doubt and insecurity or feel our tenacity dissipate. Looking back, we can see how far we've come. Looking forward, we can see how far we have to go. It is likely we will be experiencing benefits from our hard work. In the case of a Pilates student, we would feel stronger and see physical changes in the our body. If we were learning tennis, perhaps our wins are growing.

Unconscious Competence - High Commitment, High Competence
Finally, the stage of achievement. It is here that we find our joy again. We are meeting or exceeding our goal with what seems like less attention and effort. We can perform with a great deal of precision. If appropriate, we may be able enjoy the activity while doing other tasks. This is a time when we may feel lead to teach others.

Reflective Competence -
Our skill is now second nature. We can now perform to a superior standard from instinct.

Understanding the Conscious Competence Learning Matrix has been immeasurably helpful to me, as a teacher and a student. The matrix informs me that in any new learning environment, I can expect to experience much difficulty, particularly in the initial stage. I can expect my emotions to fluctuate, and with them my motivation. I can better prepare myself as I embark on my new goals. I don't take my thoughts of discomfort or failure so seriously that they distract me from my pursuits. I know I have to manage my commitment as I work on my competence until I reach stage three, when I am less likely to find an excuse to discontinue. I have become more careful about making commitments and setting goals now that I am aware of what will really be involved.

I invite you to conduct an evaluation of the different areas where you are a student or adopting a new skill. Determine what stage you may be in each area. In the earlier stages, you will want more direction. In the later stages, you will want more support. As you demonstrate to yourself improvement in your competencies, you will find your source of motivation expand.

Thoughts on Thinking

Lately, it has seemed as if the world is waving a large flag with the words, Watch The Quality Of Your Thoughts, on it. Alexandra Stoddard warns about negative thinking and wisely recommends we "stop complaining" in You Are Your Choices. In the personal growth film, The Secret, we are cautioned that our thoughts are the force that attracts the experiences, circumstances and events to our lives. My Unity minister teaches that thoughts are a creative power. And in an upcoming seminar, I will revisit the understanding of Sydney Banks that all healthy mental function is predicated on three principles, one of which is Thought.

The quotes below have been helpful to me in times of reflection on the thought process or when I have to rid myself of feelings of dissatisfaction or resentment. I find a universal truth reaches out and grabs me in all these quotes: that how I feel is being determined in part by what I am thinking.

Today, give some thought to your thoughts!

"Our thinking, more than our outer circumstances, determines whether we live lives of harmony and peace or pain and despair." -Marianne Williamson

"Gratitude and satisfaction clear the way for wisdom and contentment." -Sydney Banks

"Lower expectations to raise satisfaction." -Alexandra Stoddard

"Words form thoughts, thoughts form realities and realities become life." -Robert Kiyosaki

"If you don't bring yourself down, you do not have to bring yourself up." -Laurence Boldt

"It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doint that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about." -Dale Carnegie

"You cannot send problems out of your life by attacking them or understanding them in more depth. Instead, you correct the error in your thinking that produces the problem in the first place." -Wayne Dyer

Love Letter

Doug and I completed our Valentine's celebration with a remarkable meal at Francesca's At Sunset at the Westin La Cantera. The evening's theme was love letters. Through out our meal, we were presented beautiful notes reminding us of great literary loves such as Romeo and Juliet. We were also given directions on writing the perfect love letter.

How to Write the Perfect Love Letter

by Larry Barkdull

Maybe your heart is beating wildly or maybe it is broken. Either way, you wish you could say what you feel, but every time you try, you come up short. Welcome to the complicated world of love! Take comfort in knowing that poets and statesmen have struggled with the same question--"How do I write the perfect love letter?" Here are some simple guidelines that can help.

1. Presentation. Use beautiful stationery (a neutral, soft color, such as cream or white) and a flair pen with black or brown ink--no blues, greens or reds! Remember, your Love Letter is being written to someone special. Hand-written letters are best. This is personal--you are not writing a business letter!
2. Ambience. Go to a secluded place and put on soft, romantic music. A quiet room would be nice. Dim the lights. Stimulate a romantic mood.
3. Keepsake. Date your Love Letter (month, day, year). This is a letter that will be treasured and remembered. You can bet that it will be read over and over and safeguarded in a special place.
4. Greeting. Choose an endearing salutation. Don't be formal. Use you love's first name. For example: "My dearest Jennifer . . ." or "My darling Matt . . ."
5. Beginning. Start your Love Letter by telling your beloved your reasons for writing. For instance: "I have lain awake many sleepless nights trying to compose words that might adequately describe the feelings of my heart. But every time I have made the attempt, I have failed miserably. Please forgive my poor effort and accept a trite and simple phrase: I love you. I think I can say it no better than that . . . ." Never insult your beloved's feelings or belittle yourself by saying something like: "I know you probably don't feel this way," or "You must think I'm crazy." If you are timid in your Love Letter, your attempt at conveying heartfelt words will fall flat and might be misunderstood.
6. Body. The body of the Love Letter should include reasons for why you fell in love. Here are some ideas:
-recall when you fell in love with him/her

-explain how your life has changed for the better

-describe how much you miss your love when you're apart

-explain that you can't imagine life without him/her

-list some of the many things you have in common tell how wonderful and complete he/she makes you feel
-recall some special moments you've shared together
-mention times you've picked him/her out of a crowd
-list qualities that set him/her apart from everyone else
Avoid being casual, too light-hearted, or openly erotic. A Love Letter is a letter of respect that coveys deep, difficult-to-express feelings. Don't discount the impact of poetry in place of, or in addition to, your words. Maybe your beloved has a favorite author or poet. It will be seen as a compliment if you take the time to quote someone he/she admires. Be sure to give proper credit where it's due. Don't forget the Internet is a great place to find that poem or song you are trying to quote!
Be real. Your Love Letter should be a carefully crafted work of art, but it also needs to sound sincere. You want your Love Letter to make your beloved fall in love, not fall into laughter. Be confident as you express your emotions, dreams, and vulnerability.
NOTE: don't expect your first attempt will be the letter you send. Practice on scrap paper before you start writing on your good stationery. REVISE, then leave it for a few hours, then return and revise it again. Read it again in the morning before you send it. You'll improve it, as well as have fewer regrets--guaranteed!
7. Closing. End your Love Letter with carefully worded prose: "There, I have said it. I can rest now. And as I dream, I will dream of you." Make your closing upbeat and positive.
8. Valediction. Don't just end with: "Love, Eric." Even if you said, "All my love," it would be better. You become even more romantic by writing something like: "Dream of me, my love . . . ." What you want is a simple, yet heartfelt goodbye: "With undying love," or "Forever yours." Remember, you may think this is too sappy, but your loved one will treasure each word. Be prepared to have it quoted to you in years to come.
9. Insert. Include a special extra: petals from a flower, sprinkles of stars, a teabag of your favorite tea . . . . You get the idea. That little extra effort means you really put some thought (and heart) into this.
10. Neatness counts. Gently fold the Love Letter and place it in a neatly addressed envelope--hopefully, one that matches your stationery. The correct way is to fold a small stationery sheet (or sheets) in half with the text on the inside. Place the letter in the envelope with the crease at the bottom and the salutation facing the back. Hand address the envelope. Remember what your elementary teacher taught you about penmanship--make sure your love is able to read your writing! Add a stamp that looks romantic--the Garden Bouquet stamps are nice--and affix it upside down. It is a custom that means, "I love you." Drop the letter in the mail. That's it! Expect an emotional response. And here's another tip: buy some breath mints--you'll need them!
11. Be expressive. Here are some popular words to use in your Love Letter: angel, angelic, lover, giving, alluring, tempting, sensual, sensuality, seeing, tasting, touching, holding, caressing, memories, memorable, darling, gorgeous, absence, velvet, voyage, beautiful, vision, elation, blossoms, happy, kisses, innocent, passion, dreaming, delirious, temptation, complete, desire, content, embrace, rainbow, rose, adoring, stars, privileged, heart.

http://www.writeexpress.com/How-to-write-a-love-letter.html

Valentine's 2007

"Love in the past is only a memory. Love in the future is a fantasy. Only here and now can we truly love." - Buddha

"In no love story I have ever read is the character ever tired." -Roland Barthes

"In all my getures, thoughts and acts, I want to lift him up, to increase his joy, to share meaningful times together, because I care how he feels, moment to moment." - Alexandra Stoddard

"I make love with my brush." August Renior

"We sought each other long before we met...We found ourselves so mutually taken with one another, so acquainted and so endeared betwixt ourselves, that from hence forward nothing was ever so near to us as one another...Being begun so late, there was no time to lose. - Michel de Montaigne

"The supreme happiness in life is the conviction that we are loved." -Victor Hugo

"Give all to love." -Emerson

"Coffee drinkers are statistically more sexually active that other people." -Diane Ackerman

"You are so precious to me. Virtually every thought I think is of you. I am so happy and I love you." -Doug Bell

Sen.su.al.ist

One who is sensual; one given to the indulgences of the appetites or senses as the means for happiness. A person develoted to pleasure and luxury.

I am an unapologetic sensualist. The simple but ultimate pleasures of good food and great sex receive high scores of importance for me. It seems to me that a noticeable distinction between the happy and the unhappy is the amount of tangible enjoyment being derived from their physical presence in the natural world. The intellect is all well and good but our sensual side suffers when it takes a back seat to our mental side.

Leonardo wrote this about his fellow Florentines: "looks without seeing, listens without hearing, touches without feeling, eats without tasting, moves without physical awareness, inhales without awareness of odor or fragarance and talks without thinking." He could say the same about many in the modern world. I have reflected often on this quote since reading it some years back in Michael Gelb's How To Think Like Leonardo Da Vinci. I came across it after coming to the understaning that how we feel is greatly determined by what our senses are absorbing from our environment. It was only natural to deduce that if I wanted to elevate my experience, I needed exercise more discernment and make better choices about who and what surrounded me in my environment.

I have given some thought recently to what is sensually pleasing to me in my life right now. I encourage you to do the same, using this list as a source of inspiration for achieving more of the good life in your day to day. As an example, my list is below:

SIGHT

• Sun setting over the waters of the Gulf of Mexico
• Love shining from Doug's face
• Marbled walls of Florence's Duomo
• Movements, costumes and stage sets of a dance troupe or play
• Color
• Orderly and harmonious environments

SOUND

• Ambient, Chill and New Age genres of music
• I Love You or compliments from people I care about
• Gaggia machine steaming milk and automatically brewing a perfect expresso
• Brooks bubbling, streams trickling, waterfalls pooling and waves crashing
• Invigorating, thought provoking lectures, discussions or conversations

TASTE

• Sweetness of Jessica's skin and the muskiness of Doug's when I kiss them
• Dark chocolate and no foam lattes
• Skillfully prepared and presented gourmet meals. Succulent cheeseburgers
• Italian sparkling water and California wine

TOUCH

• Soft fabrics for clothing, linens, ulpholstery and carpeting
• Facial caresses in the morning, back rubs in the evening
• Warm down in winter, cool water in summer
• Fine pen gliding across fine paper

SMELL

• Fragrant flowers
• Aromas from the stove, oven or grill
• My mom's skin and hair (now a memory)
• Afternoon rain storms on hot Florida days
• Scents of baby powder, almond, lemon, cinnamon and musk

Perhaps being so fascinated with eating and having sex isn't just that they are primal activities but that they are events that employ all my senses. Frankly, I'm having a hard time thinking of anthing else that does!

"The five senses are the ministers of the soul." - Leonardo Da Vinci

"Keys to opening the doors of experience: sight, sound, taste, touch and smell." - Michael Gelb

"Sound, smell, touch and sight create powerful experiences." - Kimberly Wilson

"The body is the gateway to the profound." - Deng Ming Dao

"Do more things that make you happy." - Alexandra Stoddard

Source Of Inspiration - Part Two

In Part One of the post, Source Of Inspiration, Albie Mulcahy pointed us to our spiritual dimension and to God as a source of inspiration that can uplift us and have us discover sights never encountered before. I explained how my relationship with Albie exposed to me to interacting with my environment so that my experiences in one domain could creatively influence another.

It is likely that we all have come to know a larger than life character such as Albie, those one-of-a-kind people that work their magic on us whenever we come in contact with them. It is just as likely that our life is full of individuals who are in touch with their creative and artistic natures, individuals that can serve us as inspirational guideposts. It isn’t necessary to know any of them personally. Artists, and the legacies and artworks they leave behind are accessible to all of us who wish to imbue more of our daily lives with self expression. With a visit to Monet’s Giverny, one is completely surrounded with the source of the great Impressionist’s visions for painting blooming water lilies and wisteria canopied green bridges.

I am fortunate to have a variety of creative individuals of Albie's caliber to serve as my examples. Part of my happiness practice is to spend time in the company of them as much as I can. By Grace, I find I have an acquaintance with Carla Veliz, one of San Antonio's fabulous contemporary artists, and Jeness Cortez, an unparallel composer of the depictions of the great master painters. My daughter, Jessica, excels at creating political productions. A friend, Kimberly Bean creates magnificent parties. Another friend, Melissa Rice, creates financial opportunities for investors. My employers, Glen Fargo and Aida Zorrilla, create environments where one can pursue physical skill and strength. Our reverend, Karen Tudor, creates a moving, holy experience. I enjoy friendships with authors Alexandra Stoddard and Victoria Moran born out of my enthusiasm to design a lifestyle inspired by the pages they write. Many others serve as examples to me about how to seek inspiration to further my progress in actualizing all that I was intended to be. These creators assure us that we have an authentic voice and they hint at how we might cultivate it.

Albie once spoke about how the structures and environments he was surrounded by infiltrated his artistic process. The Impressionists' family and friends at table and in the garden encouraged them to put paint to canvass. Carla Veliz says motherhood has had a profound impact on her art. For Jeness Cortez, it seems to be the great masters. Alexandra Stoddard speaks of nature elevating her moods and Victoria Moran's quest for a healthy body and spirit makes her life more charming. Syd Banks names the wisdom of the God Mind as a foundational principle as he teaches about healthy psychological functioning. The common thread for these artists is their yearning for and the application of the sparks of insight they receive as they create.

We have to find our inspiration. We have to dismiss the notion that only the highly artistic and creative have access to their inspiration. We are in God and God in us; the ability for us to create in the physical realm is as real as God's ability to create the heavens and earth. Albie's power to reconstruct what he sees on cutting edge runways into products and styles the ultra fashionable adopt morphs into my power to develop a healthy menu for Doug's and my dinner. Leonardo da Vinci's belief that the essence of God exists in all of nature makes me mindful as I model the simplicity of movement for clients in our study of Pilates and the techniques of Ron Fletcher. Alexandra Stoddard, Victoria Moran and Sydney Banks are available to us so we may ponder and explore how we might lift our thoughts and feelings so that we may creatively draft a richer and fuller life. We have to become inspired, so that as many moments as possible are shifted to a higher personal quality so that we can achieve a happier experience in our day to day existence.

My hope for us all is that, when someone like Albie calls us "sweetheart", even after a few romances, an engagement and a husband or partner materializes, we still feel our skin tingling and our hearts beating faster. Let us delight in those who can awaken our creative and sensual energies within. Let these artistic and innovative beings receive in direct proportion all that they give to us, often in ways we cannot innumerate economically. Let the purveyors of new thoughts and feelings in our worlds recover whatever they may have to sacrifice so that we may be motivated, stimulated and inspired in our lives to do and be more. Let them continue to be our guiding lights and sayers of truth. Let us be grateful when we find those willing to face their dark nights of the soul and emerge into the daylight awash with what they have learned so that they may illuminate our path when we are ready.

Albie and the others teach us to gain a fresh perspective. Incorporate what you observe into whatever craft it is you practice, even when it doesn't classify as "art" to you. Adhere to a philosophy that your life is art, as Robert Fritz suggests. Make what was once old new. Invigorate yourself. Realize every creative act contains an element of yourself, every creative act is an opportunity to develop your unity with others and God. Know the truth that a happy life requires bouts of being inspired. Find inspiration in both the everyday and the extraordinary. Discover what Albie has: that our connectedness to God can uplift us and enable us to look in places we have never considered before. We cannot know what will find there. Surely we will know the pleasure that comes from work and play that is energized and electrified by the fuel of our passions.

“The creative individual makes connections others don’t see.” - Michael Gelb